Regarding the coolest man I've ever met...

As previously mentioned, last night the other foreign teachers and I went out to a German-style restaurant in a more cosmopolitan area of Pusan, which at some point I'll be able to give you by name. Like many of these places that cater to foreigners, it was housed within a ritzy hotel (again, name escapes me, but I've got photos), but today was pay day (for the teachers who've been here more than a week at least) and thus no luxury was out of reach. Also like many of these places that cater to foreigners, this German-style restaurant was at the same time a sub-par pizzeria, a disco with a house band named "Grasshopper" (no joke), and a mock island paradise with inflatable fish hanging from the ceiling... in other words, it wasn't entirely sure who the hell it was catering to, so it just tossed as many different themes into the pot as it could. Final point of comparison: any place that appeals to us 'Mericans charges at least double the amount for beer/food that a normal restaurant would.

Anyways, I guess I'll start by briefly describing Grasshopper, a female-fronted five-piece that, according to the flyer posted out front, starred an electric saxophonist. When they took the stage, I was disappointed to see that there was no electric saxophonist, although the keyboardist did often play using the "saxophone" sound... I was hoping for somethig more akin to the Tri-Lambda performance in "Revenge of the Nerds", but fuck if I don't secretly pray for that at any concert I go to. For my first live show in Korea (I don't count the Jazz-Haus), it was pretty mediocre; they played "Lady Marmalade" and some Lionel Ritchie song, but everything else was incomprehensible and bland. The Koreans in attendance loved them though.

How do I even begin to describe how much I love Korean businessmen? The restaurant had one pool table on an island platform across from our table, and a group of businessmen were using it from the moment we arrived. After ordering and eating our food (a "capable" pizza, although they're really skimpy on meat and sauce here; as a side-note, it's very hard to get pizza that doesn't include sweet corn as a topping), Mike Mackenzie and I were anxious to challenge the guys, as they didn't seem particularly gifted (plus they were waste-oid, a mandatory business practice here from what I've read). On going up to them, they were immediately excited to get us involved in the game. I WISH I had a picture of these dudes, since I'd like to keep the visual there forever, but alas, I only have a vague description at the ready: the boss was decked out in a nice white button-up shirt, skinny as a rail, well-coiffed but sweaty from drinking, and noticeably older than the others. His surrounding party were all wearing the same polo shirt with company logo on the front, and were clearly catering to every whim he had. The Koreans asked us whether we wanted to gamble, and being a confident bunch, we suggested a round of beers be bought by the losers; understand that the whole time we're discussing this, the boss has his arm(s) around me and/or Mike. Periodically he breaks from speaking in stunted English and speaks Korean with the shortest guy in the bunch, who then translates everything he said for us. Our conversation mostly consisted of us giving our thoughts on Korea and them nodding excitedly when I told them things like, "Koreans are much friendlier than Americans" and "I actually think the food here is pretty good."

The first game went well for a while... I sank a number of balls (insert joke here), and with each shot made, the business guys would erupt in clapping and shouts of "GOOD SHOT!" The boss was a pretty terrible player, but every now and then he would take his pool stick and play air guitar to the agile sounds of Grasshopper. Mike and I ended up losing when I scratched on the 8-ball, but the boss refused to take our money for beer and instead bought two of the largest-size pitchers for us ($32). We played another game, but this time the boss motioned to another member of his posse to play. Whoever he was, he was really good; I wouldn't be shocked if they keep him on staff just for moments like this. He knew how to use english on the ball, was banking balls off of the rails properly, and so on. We sank a few of our Stripes, but it was a lost cause from the beginning. When the Korean team got down to the 8-ball, the boss motioned for the expert to miss the shot, which he promptly did. After I missed badly on my shot, the expert squatted down and put his hand on the railing precisely on the point that the boss needed to hit the cue ball off of to make an impressive shot. Two of the other underlings squatted and pointed similarly, each on the point where the ball would hit off of. The boss proceeded to take the shot as suggested and of course sank it in spectacular fashion. If I had video of all of this, you'd understand how amazing it was to witness; I want--NEED--these guys at my wedding.

The boss kept holding my hand, which sounds gay but isn't in Korea, and he also fed me (in "Open the Hangar"-style) some of the German sausage that he had bought, which sounds gay and might actually be gay. My excuse: I was drunk and the sausage looked really good compared to the ho-hum pizza I had had earlier. By the end of the night, these guys probably spent at least 50 dollars on us, and until my dying day, they will be the best dudes I've ever met in my life. They left before we did, arm-in-arm singing boisterous Korean ballads. Good times.